tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32481057807894743182024-03-05T02:31:47.674-05:00From My ChairThe observations, thoughts, and musings of a therapist.Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-74543037098956824612012-01-13T09:08:00.000-05:002012-01-13T09:08:00.454-05:00Do You Want a Guardian Angel to Go with Your ADHD?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Do you know any adults with ADHD? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Ask them this following question:<b> “As you think back over your life, how many times could you have been dead by now? “</b><span><b> </b> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #4c1130; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If your friend is willing to play along, you may get some surprising answers.</span></div><span style="color: #4c1130; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span> <div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span> </span>“You mean since I was two years old or just since I began driving?” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">“Four times for sure”<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">“Oh, at least a dozen times” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Or they begin to describe dramatic events.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">“I fell off of our porch roof into some bushes when I was 4.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">“My brother was giving me a ride on his bike down this hill…”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">“We were repelling from the top of an old church, when…”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">“I was dating this guy who..…”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">“On my Yamaha 750, I wiped out after getting some ‘air’ at 105.. ” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">“Driving 125 on the causeway to St. Petersburg, when…”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Then I might ask, <b>“Have you ever wondered what keeps you alive when you could have been dead by now?”</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>“Have you ever wondered if something watches over you and keeps you alive?</b> “</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">“Yes,” is the most common response.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>“Do you ever wonder if some Guardian Angel watches over you?<span> </span>How else do you explain that you are still alive when others would have been dead several times by now?”</b> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #4c1130; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“Yes, I have thought that at times.”<span> </span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For somewhere inside, intuition provides guidance. “I <span> </span>know what I should do, but I don’t always do it.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;">When I see the survivability of ADHD clients and their ability to land on their feet, (physically and metaphorically) <span> </span>coupled with their intuition, I think of them as cats – either sleeping or stalking prey.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #4c1130; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> <span style="line-height: 115%;">Ultimately, the person with ADHD does learn to listen and respond to the internal guidance, that Guardian Angel, living within them. Otherwise, the stakes get higher and life becomes more inconvenient</span></span></span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-17648701508831942232012-01-02T16:47:00.000-05:002012-01-02T16:47:41.606-05:00Focusing on 2012<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:DoNotShowRevisions/> <w:DoNotPrintRevisions/> <w:DoNotShowMarkup/> <w:DoNotShowComments/> <w:DoNotShowInsertionsAndDeletions/> <w:DoNotShowPropertyChanges/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">The last office day in 2011 was a day for cleaning out clutter, shampooing carpets, storing closed files, and putting up a new literature rack. <span> </span>It seemed so symbolic; preparing for the year ahead.<span> </span><span> </span>Completing, clearing, consolidating, and de-cluttering one part of my life</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">A New Year brings Hope for me as it does for many of us, </span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">A time of letting go of what is in the past. </span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">A time for reordering our priorities. </span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">A time for shrinking and consolidating our lives.</span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">A time of breathing a prayer of renewal for a better year, a better life and a better us.</span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">A time to ask better questions that lead to better choices. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">As I was writing the above notes from my experiences this past week, <span> </span>the following note appeared in my mailbox. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">Peter Russell, a British Author and Creative Thinker, from his website<span> </span>“The Spirit of Now” lists his suggestions for the coming year.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://town.blogs.petaluma360.com/10733/5-keys-to-less-stress-in-2012/" title="Permalink to 5 Keys to less stress in 2012"><b>5 Keys to less stress in 2012</b></a></span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">1. Reclaiming quality time. Learning how to let the mind relax and just "be" for a while.</span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">2. Rethinking priorities. What is it we really want? What makes our hearts sing? </span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">3. Seeing things differently. Pause and ask yourself if there's another way of looking at the situation. </span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">4. Don't keep anxieties bottled up. When we stop resisting uncomfortable feelings, they have a better chance of dissipating. </span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">5. Value your friendships. Treat others as you would like to be treated.</span></div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">Full article: <a href="http://www.peterrussell.com/Speaker/pressdem.php?pg=100897756619615" target="_blank">Press Democrat</a>.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; line-height: normal; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><hr align="center" size="4" width="50%" /> </div><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well said.<span> My sentiments exactly. </span>I cannot express it more succinctly.<span> </span>Thank you, Peter.<span> </span></span></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-34139159600382375532011-11-27T12:24:00.000-05:002011-11-27T12:24:14.293-05:00Changes beginning in 2012<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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Tomorrow, a posting goes up in my office waiting room listing the revised rates and new services beginning in 2012. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Revising rates for the first time in two decades and adding new services reflect the new directions for the practice. <div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>New Services for 2012:</u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Business consultations</u></b> - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>not infrequently, counseling sessions with individuals who own their own businesses often turn to discussions of personnel issues, business plans, or organizational structural changes. The sessions become coaching sessions for the client’s business interests as much as their personal/relationship issues. Separating the coaching service gives recognition to the unique combination of knowledge in both management and mental health is required to provide this service. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Astrology Readings</u></b> – over the past 15 years, after having read nearly 75 books on astrology, reviewed over 2500 charts of people who I know, or have known intimately, and have collected a database of over 3100 charts, I've decided it's time to set a new course for this avocation. The readings will be consultations on individual’s natal chart, reviewing the specific gifts and challenges alluded to in the chart, as well as providing some relationship advice. I do not perceive these readings as being "predictive" astrology as some popular notions would have you believe.</div><div class="MsoNormal">During the past decade and a half, astrology has provided shortcuts, resulting in more efficient use of therapy consultation time and more focused sessions.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Carl Jung, late in his career, commented that "Astrology was the first psychology," as he observed the similarities between mythology, archetypal images, and astrological energies.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Internet Skype Sessions</u></b> : <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've been providing some Internet Skype sessions over the past two years whenever clients out of town during their regularly weekly sessions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I foresee utilizing the service more often, and more regularly during the coming year. For now, I will provide the service with established clients. I do not see Skype sessions as a usual alternative format for most counseling. There is still something about personal interaction between two people sitting face-to-face in the same room that cannot be produced in video form.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">These are only a few of the changes of the many changes I anticipate for 2012 for the practice. As technological advances occur, and I learn how to use them, more changes will come forth as the year progresses. </div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-15108664090343020692011-11-06T10:38:00.001-05:002011-11-06T11:11:05.341-05:00Where have your words gone?<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">What have you been up to?” ask the emails from friends and blog readers. “Where has your creativity gone?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">“My mind has been in a creative lull; at least in terms of writing,” I tell them. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">When summer arrived after the long cold wet winter, my body wanted to be outside in the elements. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Working with wood vs writing. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Canning vs Quoting.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Planting bulbs vs posting blogs.</span></div><span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;">Crafting landscapes vs manuscripts</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Whenever weather allowed, I was outside. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now in the return to living inside, my mind wants to read rather than write. The rainy retreat time two months ago fueled a passion which has completed one book every two weeks. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Today, I begin <u>Dreams of Love and Fateful Encounters, the Power of Romantic Passion</u>, written by Ethel Person, a Jungian analyst on the transforming and humanizing effect of love on the psyche.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">It is just one of the rhythms of my life. I have been through these before. These phases take my life, my relationships, and my therapy practice to a new level. They are an extension of a process which began at my annual retreat, My writing and my words will return, as will my desire to reach out to people. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">“Do you still write in you journal?” one writer wants to know. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">“Yes, it's the breakfast of my life.</span>”</div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-49528521247730437722011-10-02T17:05:00.000-04:002011-10-02T17:05:43.860-04:00"Heartbreak Warfare"<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">HEARTBREAK WARFARE: a client plays for me an excerpt from a John Mayer song entitled: "Heartbreak Warfare".</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">It's heartbreak warfare </span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> Once you want it to begin,</span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> No one really ever wins</span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> In heartbreak warfare.</span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> </span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> If you want more love,</span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> why don't you say so?</span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> If you want more love,</span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> why don't you say so?</span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> </span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;"> <span style="font-size: small;">Just say so.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;">..</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">This is from someone who often describes her conflicts - both personal and business – as a <i>war</i>. Other clients have described their struggles with their teenagers as a <i>war.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">War is a concept that from my cultural and religious upbringing was seen as a shortsighted approach to dispute resolution. Historically, the Mennonites/Amish culture has not had its young men go to war, but rather, provide some community service to the country. Children’s Services, my alternative to the Vietnam, is where my career begins.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Psychologically war is a notion that says, "If I don't win what I want, then we will both go down - and you can't have what you want.” Or perhaps, “It will cost you so much you can't enjoy what you have won.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">The concept of war is about winning and losing; a concept that what one gains the other loses. The notion of winning and losing in relationship precludes any true intimacy. Peaceful coexistence, yes. Shared ventures or projects, yes. An closeness or camaraderie, yes. But true intimacy? Not so much. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">When we see our relationships as a dualistic struggle, where one of us is the good guy and the other the victim, we are relying on the other to be more trusting than we are. More vulnerable and exposed than we are.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Sports evolved as a way providing young man a safe outlet for war-games through friendly competition. While sports give us rules for the field of play, a relationship war, I'm afraid, has no rules, no defined boundaries, and no clear winners – only “degrees of losing”. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Next time you are caught up in a ‘relationship war’, ask yourself, </span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;">-<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Is there another way I can see this? </span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;">-<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>What is my greatest fear now? </span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;">-<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>In a single sentence, what is it that I am wanting now. </span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=3248105780789474318&postID=4952852124773043772" name="_GoBack"></a>Then, communicate that to your partner. </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">Just say so.</span><span style="color: #c00000;"></span></i></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-19536036138308922872011-09-19T09:05:00.001-04:002011-09-25T08:43:19.706-04:00Rainy Day Retreat<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> On some gray, misty, rainy morning, have you ever said to yourself, “ I would so <i>love</i> to stay home, hibernate, read a good book and sleep all day.” </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> Suppose you <i>did</i> stay home on a rainy day, what would you do? How would you spend your time? </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Now, imagine having six consecutive rainy days in which you stayed home? </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6L3crQHHdm38U_VZXiaOVAvEy4LRNRHEyA9-TAveox-BYxbSjnsH6oUjDaxiGeSy2peznafIGN1cd6SpM1kfMxNcssDZLR4MvE3hLo0XEIymxDnjJ2Se0figIEDWRbB6yveCDAjmbXyk/s1600/Foggy+river+valley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6L3crQHHdm38U_VZXiaOVAvEy4LRNRHEyA9-TAveox-BYxbSjnsH6oUjDaxiGeSy2peznafIGN1cd6SpM1kfMxNcssDZLR4MvE3hLo0XEIymxDnjJ2Se0figIEDWRbB6yveCDAjmbXyk/s320/Foggy+river+valley.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Misty fog hangs in the valley.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2hte1cJcZ8qQ1wXFBBSNe0ltAsGVIpK-FyrGVKASzOvjOUAZMzZsvoBIvB3RpC2r3Z5I_8kiB3rQZ5CAXa327QfAT1zCK7sG5GFJedGOh7pFaYdBuYhv1MF-MT65Q8st-_TqOZqRa9Ug/s1600/Hiking+by+the+river.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">My annual retreat in an empty campground with six days in which it rained parts of each day gave me time to answer that question. </span></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Solitary retreats serve as a renewal time for the body, mind and soul; for long walks for dialogue with the Self, renew spiritual practices, and read a book or two, a time of being present oriented, grounded in nature and body.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> This year’s rains limited the hiking, eliminated the biking, confined the activities to mainly reading and writing; a misty fog forcing me inside the camper and forcing my focus “inside.” Listening to rain on the camper roof keeps one grounded in the physical realities of the present moment. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Daily routines of writing journal pages, trying new meditation practices, hiking, reading, and sitting around campfires in the evening, all served to keep my mind focused on the self in present time </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Reading, or rather re-reading, extensively highlighted books provided some touchstone experiences; reorienting myself to previous experiences of spiritual renewal. This year’s selections were Baldwin’s Life’s Companion, Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest, and Eckart Tolle’s The Power of Now; two books pulled from my shelves at the office based on some intuitive impulse.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">When it was raining, extensive journal writing, hours of filling half of the new journal, was the predominate activity. A gratitude section. A review of this year in a life. An assessment some things I have learned in this lifetime. What to let go of and what to hold more dear. And, some commitments toward a year ahead. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Somewhere along the line, answers do arrive. Either in the question and answer form of journaling dialogue, a sudden inspiration in a highlighted line or two from a book, or from my own free form journaling in which I end up writing some thoughts I had no idea were in my mind. After 70 pages of writing, one finds perhaps seven lines that give inspiration, insight or enlightenment. But these are lines that come from inside, not from one of the books brought along. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> Always a transcendent moment or two comes to me in this retreat week; a moment when the world looks surreal. </span></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2hte1cJcZ8qQ1wXFBBSNe0ltAsGVIpK-FyrGVKASzOvjOUAZMzZsvoBIvB3RpC2r3Z5I_8kiB3rQZ5CAXa327QfAT1zCK7sG5GFJedGOh7pFaYdBuYhv1MF-MT65Q8st-_TqOZqRa9Ug/s1600/Hiking+by+the+river.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2hte1cJcZ8qQ1wXFBBSNe0ltAsGVIpK-FyrGVKASzOvjOUAZMzZsvoBIvB3RpC2r3Z5I_8kiB3rQZ5CAXa327QfAT1zCK7sG5GFJedGOh7pFaYdBuYhv1MF-MT65Q8st-_TqOZqRa9Ug/s320/Hiking+by+the+river.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunshine warms the river and the valley.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">-<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> - O</span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">n the river bank, in my chair, writing, practicing meditation exercises, quietly , silently for half an hour when a large black heron with white tail cruises by at an altitude of 6 feet overhead on his way to run off a younger heron from his favorite fallen tree branch. </span></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">-<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> - </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">A cloudless afternoon allowed the sun to shine onto the river valley bottom for a few hours, lifting of spirits and an animating all forms of wildlife out of their hibernation.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">-<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> - </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">The full moon over head appearing brightly, fully on one special evening.</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">When on some future rainy day, you are tempted to stay home with yourself, please do so. Make it a day without electronic stimulation,-- no music, no internet, no television, no ‘news’. Make it a day of reading inspiring books, writing notes to yourself, or to friends, and simply listening to the rain and the silence. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Rain refreshes all of nature. Listening to rain may refresh your soul. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-46444148685084634292011-08-14T12:07:00.000-04:002011-08-14T12:07:52.114-04:00Zentangle on The Fountain Pen Network<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #244061; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-themecolor: accent1; mso-themeshade: 128;">A thread entitled, "Zentangle Advice " in the The Fountain Pen Network caught my attention. What also caught my attention was the strength of some people's responses to Zentangle art. Below is a post that I placed network this morning. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #244061; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-themecolor: accent1; mso-themeshade: 128;">You can find the entire thread at the following link :</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #244061; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-themecolor: accent1; mso-themeshade: 128;"><a href="http://www.fountainpennetwork.com/forum/index.php?/forum/32-the-write-stuff">http://www.fountainpennetwork.com/forum/index.php?/forum/32-the-write-stuff</a>/</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #244061; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-themecolor: accent1; mso-themeshade: 128;">Here is my post to that thread:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">“People do not remain neutral to seeing Zentangle art. Some are immediately dismissive, seeing the line drawings as little more than graffiti. Lifelong doodlers will see it as “what I have been doing for years”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Others, captured by the line drawings, remain with eyes fixed, not quite able to pull themselves from the art, not knowing what holds them to this art form. As a therapist, my surprise has been the strength of the emotional responses of many people, (including my own, at times), to these simple line drawings.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">from "Emotional Responses To Zentangle Art", posted July 14, 2010 on the <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“FromMyChair” blog. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">This thread began with a simple question, simply asking for<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>information on fountain pen use in Zentangle art.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Subsequent postings to this thread begin to appear; <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>written with much stronger emotional fervor. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Many of the Zentangle, “tangles” do appear to be derivatives of our cultural artifacts, and of nature. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But also, as pointed out in a previous entry in this thread, some of the tangles are reflective of symbols and art forms in ancient cultures around the world. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">From this, I've drawn the conclusions that strength of the emotional responses to the Zentangle “tangles” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>seems to have come from an <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>awakening<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of some primal/primitive emotional responses within people, responses not based in logic. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;"> </span><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">It does appear to me that the use of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Zentangle” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as a registered trademark seems to elicit anger in some individuals as though someone had gotten a copyright on an ancient universal or religious <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>symbol. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I, still, as an observer of human nature, sit on the sidelines with fascination at these very strong responses. “What creates the intensity of these responses at each end of the continuum of emotions?”</span></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-18197356384821276612011-07-24T14:21:00.001-04:002011-07-24T18:24:55.654-04:00The Pelikans Have Arrived!!<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-HMvAzRNrxBptWMXeojaQI311vRqXK5qN4r6G84_r9aLix4jpcR3eqQGR6a9bogOuegdlhcVzv-FZg3gvmm4r1wNBSiKnau1Km28BdpTAn-Mu4SimFxBGSgJnNekkB8oJUOWAVFFas-s/s1600/Closeup+B-ic+nib.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji8rY8Z10bzxoydrshKZhJRGIo5oL5irLG42S4iTEA-YuYTbGEsBNVsrwgt_JA1SwJjR9aShwMdqJQgOcnMvKSrB1v6XXkoXAm2e9tn8rsAGMlPh2erPz0pKvuKt_NY15_DjU_dPeA7sQ/s1600/Demonstrator+closeup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLMZEAQ81T0QNSgRWlD7plM24SE7XD72vim9E4_h4XLhf0GsEqYhIqL4-QkZGwMZxTeV-6C3vMXa14yDEtDuMULgrq7auRYwZ6py9FWClrqrzcwfPbmXWX2g-6VFTOcyYCrLvbAdGKfs/s1600/Pelikans+and+two+inks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLMZEAQ81T0QNSgRWlD7plM24SE7XD72vim9E4_h4XLhf0GsEqYhIqL4-QkZGwMZxTeV-6C3vMXa14yDEtDuMULgrq7auRYwZ6py9FWClrqrzcwfPbmXWX2g-6VFTOcyYCrLvbAdGKfs/s320/Pelikans+and+two+inks.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">M800’s these are called. Pelikan fountain pens are German manufactured pens and arrive with two-tone18k gold nibs. These are some of the most desired fountain pens on the market. For each pen, I ordered custom ground, nibs, broad, italic cursive writing points for a right-handed person. Both nibs tuned by John Mottishaw, one of perhaps a half dozen highly respected “nibmeisters” in the country. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFKAssYpwug&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL</span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-HMvAzRNrxBptWMXeojaQI311vRqXK5qN4r6G84_r9aLix4jpcR3eqQGR6a9bogOuegdlhcVzv-FZg3gvmm4r1wNBSiKnau1Km28BdpTAn-Mu4SimFxBGSgJnNekkB8oJUOWAVFFas-s/s1600/Closeup+B-ic+nib.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-HMvAzRNrxBptWMXeojaQI311vRqXK5qN4r6G84_r9aLix4jpcR3eqQGR6a9bogOuegdlhcVzv-FZg3gvmm4r1wNBSiKnau1Km28BdpTAn-Mu4SimFxBGSgJnNekkB8oJUOWAVFFas-s/s320/Closeup+B-ic+nib.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why order two fountain pens? In journal writing, I will often switch back and forth between two pens, usually differing qualities of writing, or different colors. Thus I have differing inks and differing nibs on each pen. The clear, “Demonstrator”, so-called because it demonstrates the internal workings of the brass mechanism internal to this quality of and. As you can see, each part is labeled with laser marking. Demonstrators are manufactured in limited editions, thus are becoming increasingly rare. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji8rY8Z10bzxoydrshKZhJRGIo5oL5irLG42S4iTEA-YuYTbGEsBNVsrwgt_JA1SwJjR9aShwMdqJQgOcnMvKSrB1v6XXkoXAm2e9tn8rsAGMlPh2erPz0pKvuKt_NY15_DjU_dPeA7sQ/s1600/Demonstrator+closeup.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji8rY8Z10bzxoydrshKZhJRGIo5oL5irLG42S4iTEA-YuYTbGEsBNVsrwgt_JA1SwJjR9aShwMdqJQgOcnMvKSrB1v6XXkoXAm2e9tn8rsAGMlPh2erPz0pKvuKt_NY15_DjU_dPeA7sQ/s400/Demonstrator+closeup.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"></div><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, the setup for makes them ideal for both journal and professional, clinical notes. Not only can I seem to be able to write endlessly, but I do so legibly. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji8rY8Z10bzxoydrshKZhJRGIo5oL5irLG42S4iTEA-YuYTbGEsBNVsrwgt_JA1SwJjR9aShwMdqJQgOcnMvKSrB1v6XXkoXAm2e9tn8rsAGMlPh2erPz0pKvuKt_NY15_DjU_dPeA7sQ/s1600/Demonstrator+closeup.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Speaking of legibility, when the first pelican arrived, I found myself spending hours of third-grade cursive writing which I referred to as Pelikan Practice. Journals, it seems, are not only for good ideas, but good ideas that are presented legibly, and as works of art. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The more simply discovering two great fountain pens, I discovered The Fountain Pen Network, an organization of individuals who enjoy fountain pens. While some of them enjoy the process of writing with fountain pens and inks, others, enjoy creating journals with fountain pens. Still others, collect fountain pens, some are enamored with the brands, colors, or technical aspects of fountain pens, inks, and paper. Much of that is my current scope knowledge or interest, but what we all have in common is that we enjoy writing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">From the nearly 40,000 members worldwide, in The Fountain Pen Network I found individuals who not only write with fountain pens, write personal journals, write creatively, and, maintain blogs concerning their interests. David, the workshop assistant on the West Coast who "interviewed" me in gathering information regarding my writing style so John could more accurately assess how to grind this personalized nib, I discover, is also a playwright, and part-time actor in films. Another "David" lives close by and writes extraordinary reviews of inks under the pen name of “carpedavid.”</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Blogspot blog : "Seize The Dave" </b><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My interest in the Pelikan is not only brought me to the world's most finely crafted pens, but it's also put me in touch with an entirely new group of friends and associates that have enriched and broadened my view point and my experience. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">Having written clinical notes for four decades, and personal journals for three, having used ball point pens, roller balls, markers, microns, and pencils, with the new Pelikan pen, hours of writing drift by as easily Sailor Jentle Blue ink flows from the golden nib onto the Moleskin paper.</span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #0c343d;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">From my journal pages,</span> -<span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">-</span></span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;">.<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">..<span style="font-size: small;">with fountain pens, finally, after getting the right combination, -- the pen, the nib, the ink, and the paper, - not only does the writing flow effortlessly, but thoughts flow without hesitation, resistance, or interference from the mind to the paper, the hand more faithfully reproduces what the mind thinks or the heart feels.</span></span></b></i></span></span></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-26680080100903983922011-07-23T20:27:00.000-04:002011-07-23T20:27:46.522-04:00After He Leaves….<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">“Without the verbal ballast of hearing a hundred words each weekend, </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">Words of assumptions, opinions, criticisms and judgements,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">My self esteem grew to new heights, </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">My self confidence developed in new directions,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">My desires re-emerged from the aridity of this relationship,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">And my creativity blossomed like roses, </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">from a bare, pruned bush,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">unfold with greater vibrancy, color, and fragrance.” -- name withheld. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">How is it that women, more than men, make this adjustment to separations with such grace? When I listen to them, I hear……</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">“Each week, I take a walk with my best friend.”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">“ Once a month, I get together with a few of my closest friends, we go out to dinner, we have a glass of wine, we talk, we laugh, sometimes we cry, we rag on our men,… but mostly, we laugh a lot. That is what helps me the most. And that is my attitude readjustment for the month.”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">“Each year, the four of us take a long weekend together – a kind of vacation from our lives, our men and our kids. That I can still look forward to that time together helps me the most.” </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #4e1919;">Women’s acceptance, understanding, and compassion toward each other during these transitions provides a healing component that men, money, and therapy cannot. Grieving this loss fully, and not merely replacing, ( as men have historically been prone to do) allows for the new life to “blossom” in ways not previously possible. </span></span></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-9868600489228972022011-06-30T18:39:00.000-04:002011-06-30T18:39:09.069-04:00Admitting error<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #632423;"></span></span><br />
<div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Recently, I had to admit to making an error in posting something to my blog that had not been sufficiently screened to ensure confidentiality. When someone pointed it out to me, I immediately admitted the error and removed that particular post from my blog. While no harm was done to any of the individuals involved, it did represent an oversight, an error on my part.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Admitting error seems to be a difficult process for some individuals. (and not just politicians or sports heroes.) I've found it difficult to maintain stable friendships with people who have great difficulty admitting error on their part, even for minor things.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thirty years ago, as the new director of an agency, I walked into the office of the youngest supervisor to confront her on the data she had reported on a form I had just created.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Where did you get this data?” I asked, “I cannot seem to match it up with the other units.”</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“I lied.” She replied matter of factly, looking up from her desk.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“What? Why would you do that?” I said, stunned at the directness of her response.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“I didn’t understand your form, and I was afraid if I said that, you would be upset with me or think I was stupid. So I just lied.”</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The, experience was a most disarming one. What you do when someone admits, “I lied.” It helped that she admitted she was afraid. Her honesty and vulnerability at that point made her human and understandable. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This five minute interaction taught me the benefit of readily admitting error and getting on with the business modifying the relationship so that future interactions will be a better place. In the process, a trust was established. That was the beginning an honest working relationship.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When we find that we are more concerned with our image and in being right, when we would rather be right than in a relationship, when we find it easier to be less that truthful, evasive, or to simply deny and project the blame, then we are in trouble, not only with others, but more troubling, with <i>ourselves.</i> We are living in a constant state of fear. </span></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Want a new experience in relating to others? Admit error. Admit it openly, readily, and honestly. It can be a refreshing experience. </span></div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #632423; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A new beginning in your relationships with others, and with yourself. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-26722975297307965582011-06-25T08:47:00.000-04:002011-06-25T08:47:08.763-04:00The Pen Junkie and the Holy Grail of Pens<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: small;">Through years of journal writing, one accumulates and an extensive array of pens. Every writing desk has a canister of pens; not a cup, but a canister. For a period of time, I will write with one kind and then shift to the next one. In the process of three morning pages, I will use at least two kinds of pens of different color; more if I am decorating the edges with a “Zander” tangle design. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlB6t79d1EVoZoWBi3GSG_hX1HEnX9OUzJWRw-Q1MI8spQAraU0ZexVlgCqFLwyUAJGho720roRJpSm3q7lROH5iNDEbvNbTtmkrHfNTvKxPuh-e1KpF0zvtAVjlcQKzoBwu9ezmm0qEc/s1600/2011-06-23_07-04-20_66.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlB6t79d1EVoZoWBi3GSG_hX1HEnX9OUzJWRw-Q1MI8spQAraU0ZexVlgCqFLwyUAJGho720roRJpSm3q7lROH5iNDEbvNbTtmkrHfNTvKxPuh-e1KpF0zvtAVjlcQKzoBwu9ezmm0qEc/s320/2011-06-23_07-04-20_66.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: small;">Ball points, felt tips, roller balls, pencils, markers, drafting pens, highlighters, scissors, and fountain pens all vie for space in the crowded canisters. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: small;">From Cardin and Cross, to Micron and Pilot, from Sharpies to Staples to Staedtler, Tul to Uniball, on Zebra and Zig. From .01 Microns to 5.0 Calligraphy markers. From $2.00 to $40.00; the list continues. Pens, pencils and markers manufactured from Japan to Germany. But, most importantly, a full array of shades and intensity of color. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWiPW5FP8HXSnYlnRGntyLsKq_d4zagjts8OWQLvmrHV5ZBTu8mSlo5l_fAlJyBotCL1bTZxL2DjxFHffgATU0WNej-yWSdv2TykzpLdtif5ZVm-m-8j0FCJLZjhFdxSlPy7CjsCXQcqM/s1600/2011-06-23_11-26-12_414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWiPW5FP8HXSnYlnRGntyLsKq_d4zagjts8OWQLvmrHV5ZBTu8mSlo5l_fAlJyBotCL1bTZxL2DjxFHffgATU0WNej-yWSdv2TykzpLdtif5ZVm-m-8j0FCJLZjhFdxSlPy7CjsCXQcqM/s320/2011-06-23_11-26-12_414.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">Lately, I have begun to enjoy the Cross Fountain pen, a generic medium fountain pen, but have always wanted a pen with a broader point, perhaps even an italic or calligraphic point. But a truly top quality pen. The calligraphy starter set I tried tended to dry quickly. Totally unsatisfying. After writing thousands of journal pages, my Sagittarian mind seeks the next best creative tool. In addition to having a sense of tradition, fountain pens lend themselves well for slower, deliberate, contemplative, meditative writing practices.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: small;">Researching the ‘best of the best’ of fountain pens, has led me on a quest for the holy grail of pens, a Pelikan M800. Quests become Obsessions. Not knowing anyone personally who owns a Pelikan M800, my obsession <i>requires</i> me to research online,.. <i>daily</i>. Also, I have begun gathering my hoarded gift monies and my credit card points toward the object of the quest.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes, I have been told great novels and treatises have been written with goose quills, or pencils. Undeterred, I’ve continued my quest.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: small;">Does that mean I will neglect all the pens sitting in my pencil wells? Do artists neglect their old brushes? Not for a moment. They provide the varying colors, textures and speed I need for writing in different situations. Even my pens must provide useful work if they are to keep their place in the canisters.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: small;">When a decade ago I invested in a burgundy, aniline leather chair, I thought it to be the most extravagant purchase I had made. But, it has immensely improved the quality of my daily life. I've never had any regrets about its purchase. So is my assumption about purchasing a top quality pen even though others may think me mad to spend $300+ on a fountain pen. And like the chair, I expect that in a decade from now, I will have no regrets about this purchase.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: small;">When the pen of my dreams arrives, I will post a photo and a review.</span></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-34606258084656924702011-06-23T15:42:00.006-04:002011-06-27T15:03:39.934-04:00Where Have You Been???<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-size: small;">Where have you been?” some emails ask. "It has been a month since your last post.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-size: small;">After three training trips, my travels are done for the summer. A return to normalcy and a rhythm prevails. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"></div><span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-size: small;">Training and Traveling. When I am in that mode, writing gets shoved to the side, overpowered by not only the demands of training workshops, but for the novelty of contrasting sounds, sights, smells, and experiences. The writing gets neglected like some pet that sits and awaits your arrival at home. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrhDBloqySxWykFXhk1h8KQjCni7m1CFqfWvGFEFby8_9PsK_Tv07QdxdEFsqA8OOK_1rxUT06u7EyBHl5k2lKTJG4wAuAlUE7BoypXxeAV6wnYs5k95mD0QwlPD6vJnhTGjHJJLdPCDI/s1600/Chicago+Skyline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrhDBloqySxWykFXhk1h8KQjCni7m1CFqfWvGFEFby8_9PsK_Tv07QdxdEFsqA8OOK_1rxUT06u7EyBHl5k2lKTJG4wAuAlUE7BoypXxeAV6wnYs5k95mD0QwlPD6vJnhTGjHJJLdPCDI/s320/Chicago+Skyline.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">Travels provide contrasts that awaken the senses. The busy cacophony of traffic, cars, buses, trains – all of it in downtown Chicago, on a Friday at 5:30 pm is a jarring contrast to the tranquility of Frank Lloyd Wright’s Oak Park, or the nature trails of Oregon Ridge Park in Baltimore on a Saturday at 5:30.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have experienced a skilled captain pilot an aircraft through stormy weather, and an unskilled copilot struggling with numerous power changes and turns to keep his speed and altitude at the required values enroute to O’Hare. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0IQ7vb1HX-n17lIlkxQklx6-tRuQOVI-S8ot2sSDWxdTEZQkn2oWDySmrOEu0Irhz-vIfeGj9b2ty2ctWWfYkUO9VtUymXSi5qewMAXzs0D6-HOYvmfEc4fK-_FKia14c0SDYNkTwLlQ/s1600/Southwest+BWI.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0IQ7vb1HX-n17lIlkxQklx6-tRuQOVI-S8ot2sSDWxdTEZQkn2oWDySmrOEu0Irhz-vIfeGj9b2ty2ctWWfYkUO9VtUymXSi5qewMAXzs0D6-HOYvmfEc4fK-_FKia14c0SDYNkTwLlQ/s320/Southwest+BWI.jpg" width="180" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">The sociability and laughter of Southwest passengers, even in a stormy flight seemed sweet in comparison to United’s staid crew and passengers, most of whom cast no glances at others sitting beside them, preferring to delve into books and electronics. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-size: small;">From the rear of the last shuttle bus ride came a raucous request from four men wanting to be dropped off at Lufthansa airline. Following their flight to Munich, three of them would head on to Amsterdam. This jovial quartet laughed and joked in three languages the entire way to the airport; one speaking in Deutsch, one in English, and two in Dutch. Yet, each clearly understood the other. </span></div><span style="color: #20124d; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-size: small;">How great if this were a microcosm of our entire world! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-size: small;">For Sunday: The Pen Junkie and the Holy Grail of Pens </span></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-77298155129548417492011-05-22T18:41:00.002-04:002011-05-22T22:20:54.774-04:00What is the Point of Keeping a Journal??<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #1b1810;">What Is the Point of Journaling?</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1b1810; font-size: small;">… you may ask. What is the point of spending time trying to write thoughts, ideas, and feelings on the page, particularly when it is hard to do so?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1b1810; font-size: small;">Rather than trying to convince you, let me present you with a listing of books that have been most helpful to me. The subtitles give some hint as to the value of keeping journals. </span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAv7NUjrayOqBzPOB7Iyc-lSTzy3bbnRbze_97uz0k6ctYaR45nqVVfq8nvoCjsGgkzJbML1c0xvfJ5ow-OJWbPK3C9AoYIgl34uvSZPbcG7wZDOphBeUzsxiGsSkARRnVwBDiS9CxRU8/s1600/Life%2527s+Companion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAv7NUjrayOqBzPOB7Iyc-lSTzy3bbnRbze_97uz0k6ctYaR45nqVVfq8nvoCjsGgkzJbML1c0xvfJ5ow-OJWbPK3C9AoYIgl34uvSZPbcG7wZDOphBeUzsxiGsSkARRnVwBDiS9CxRU8/s200/Life%2527s+Companion.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: #1b1810; font-size: small; line-height: 115%;"><b>Life's Companion, Journaling as a Spiritual Quest</b> by Christina Baldwin. </span><span style="color: #1b1810; font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">First given to me by a client, this book has become one of my all time favorites. When Christina Baldwin began writing books on journaling, the Library of Congress needed to create a new category of listings. If you never write down one line, this book is still an excellent treatise on guidance for your spiritual quest. </span><span style="color: #1b1810; font-size: small;">Having given away over a dozen of my copies of this book, I find it still to be the most inspiring book on journal writing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_bwiPaA1_WIVaxR__JffFQL84fX_wfcWl5nS2JlgISxXHohBFv0DUNRJiopfrTVPQuExA02SHaIrTBk_aa8IC46ExuLzMuwLyDzKiNBdydEA4iRDOyXMrgSzlyuIUrno_ru-BXUqNfPU/s1600/Walking+in+This+World.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br />
</a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVnoujoXUO6UWSbgqtLtjQZmZiKOzcroPamSa47SaJHbu3Pb8hiXSupKWIDyWD0Sb8qMXrC44L44oyGNut6RVTyNWEPQhhpQCyzw2KPw6PeB0DJrm92C_AdKgnp3-8xv9-yx9P6xpOJLc/s1600/WalkingINthisWorld2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVnoujoXUO6UWSbgqtLtjQZmZiKOzcroPamSa47SaJHbu3Pb8hiXSupKWIDyWD0Sb8qMXrC44L44oyGNut6RVTyNWEPQhhpQCyzw2KPw6PeB0DJrm92C_AdKgnp3-8xv9-yx9P6xpOJLc/s200/WalkingINthisWorld2.JPG" width="158" /></a></span></div><span style="color: #1b1810; font-size: small;">In <b>Walking in This World, The Practical Art of Creativity,</b> Julia Cameron's finest book, she presents spirituality and creativity as inextricably interwoven. Having read nearly all of Julia Cameron's books on writing, I consider this to be the zenith of her writing and that of greatest depth. Thirteen chapters, with plenty of white space in the margin for scribbles or notes, this is an excellent book to for shared work with friends or groups. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFJsBfQBOzA9bGGi_8tG5xjQo15q62Ra5j_BliOnDbIZGfRV9en43t80yhk5iGQtQfafnm3AvHhwOy6janC6r0JP6I1Ad7Qxk9n-MePNTluCeLmU2p3ELBfFyo6-nZWulQ384aKq9gjR4/s1600/Write+It+down%252C+Make+It+Happen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFJsBfQBOzA9bGGi_8tG5xjQo15q62Ra5j_BliOnDbIZGfRV9en43t80yhk5iGQtQfafnm3AvHhwOy6janC6r0JP6I1Ad7Qxk9n-MePNTluCeLmU2p3ELBfFyo6-nZWulQ384aKq9gjR4/s200/Write+It+down%252C+Make+It+Happen.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #1b1810;">Henriette Anne Klauser gives us a reason to write – not to record the past, but to record our hopes, wishes, and dreams in her <b>Write It Down, Make It Happen</b>. She presents the case for writing down the ‘What” of what we want, and letting the “How” appear later. This book, a quick read, gives an view of increasing the odd of manifesting what we want in our lives by the simple act of writing it down,... being sure to write down all the sensory details. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #1b1810;">For anyone who has asks, what do you do with all those journals, Rosalie Deer Heart and Alison Strickland illustrate a method of reviewing journals and harvesting the "thought seeds" by extracting the important themes, events, and insights recorded in a journal. Not for the faint of heart, these two share their experiences as they commit to finding the worthwhile truths in their journal entries. </span></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #1b1810;">These are only four of the dozens of books on my selves that speak to the art of keeping a journal. Any of them, and any of the books listed in the appendix of these books can help you understand the value othes place on keeping a journal. But only by writing yourself through an event in your lifetime will you come to see the value it has for you. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #1b1810;"> Journals are not diaries of daily events, rather they are an expression of the self and the Self, a description of the internal life of the writer. Journal writing appears in the lives of most great leaders, especially spiritual leaders. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #1b1810;">Writing is a way of connecting with the Inner Self and of leaving your mark on this earth as you pass through this lifetime. </span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioBKK_4cj18aSc6Fk7ups41kKI4GD8feUjntO1wJGjL5GPt_OafZlquWXN10s08XfiXjoBNWaPjbDn_-T72GLsz8EABA5m1_evqNCRQiTvADoxljTXsAqXeFSnCZ-BNeilsoCWFgq_6MQ/s1600/Journal+to+the+self.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br />
</a></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-87466578247770645572011-05-03T21:04:00.001-04:002011-05-03T21:06:17.539-04:00How Many Journals Do You Need?<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> Lest you think I have only "A Journal," let me share with you the varieties of journals that I may be keeping at one time. Just as some people have several books that they are reading at one time, I am writing in several journal formats at any point in time for different purposes. Let me count the ways</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">1. Morning Pages Journal: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Always, there is one primary "morning pages" Journal into which I enter anything from 1 to 3 pages most mornings. At the moment, I’m using a 9 x 12 sketchbook. No lines. Just blank pages.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">2. Conferences and meetings notebook journal book,</span></b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> I keep one journal book that I take to conferences for notetaking my thoughts and observations about the conference material as well as other thoughts that crossed my mind in the middle of a meeting. The current Conference Journal is a 7 x 10 spiral bound notebook which has the added benefit of having lined pages on the left side and a blank page on the right side.</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> That allows for organized notetaking as well as diagrams, doodles, and Zentangle art.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">3. Waiting Room Journal:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> Yes, an elegant moleskin, with high quality paper, a gift from a dear friend, serves this purpose. This 5 x 7 notebook travels with me to waiting rooms: a doctor, a dentist, (or THE Ohio State School of Dentistry where the wait usually extends to multi-page writings). Waiting rooms is the one place one can count on waiting and not being disturbed. One day, I managed to write three pages while sitting in the ophthalmologist exam room chair waiting for the doctor’s arrival.</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">4. Dream Journal: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">A decade ago, I began a separate journal for dreams. Writing the dream themes into my Morning Journal gets them lost among many pages of other notes. For a dream journal I use a 6 x 9 spiral, hard cover notebook with a notation on the front as to its purpose. It lives on my reading stand waiting for the early morning writings.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">5. Retreat Journal: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">made of totally recycled paper is used only for the yearly solitary wilderness retreats. The 9 by 7 journal fits into a one gallon freezer bag, protecting it from the elements of camping, and allows it to ride safely in backpacks and bicycle pack trips during these retreat weeks.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">6. Computer journal: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">By taking 10 minutes to open a file, speak my mind, then save it as a password-protected document, I can go about my day without trying to process an emotionally charged event that continues to occupy my attention. The computer journal files stored in encrypted formats frees me from worries that information that needs to be private is kept private. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">7. Relationship (Shared) Journal: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">A shared journal? Yes, after having entered into a second marriage a little over a year ago, it seemed important to me to have some venue in which each of us could share some of our thoughts about the relationship. It’s the small journal I pull out on Sunday morning to write one page concerning thoughts, observations, and future plans, hopes, wishes or dreams for the relationship. This small journal is where we place mementos of shared events i.e. theater tickets, restaurant souvenirs, etc. and, a sharing of things for which we have great gratitude.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">8. This Blog: From My Chair: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">This blog, evolved out of a weekly Sunday morning ritual of writing some of my observations concerning my life and career as experienced from living on the sidelines of other people's lives as a therapist. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">Hmm, I must be keeping <b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Eight</i><i> different forms</i> </b>of journals in recording my life. It just seems second nature to me at this point after having begun to write one penciled page a week 3 decades ago. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #073763;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #073763;">How can you find that much to write about in ordinary life?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #073763;"> When you write about your life, it does not seem so ordinary. You come to see your life with a greater sense of depth and richness. Additionally, you begin to see patterns, and symbols that are not apparent without taking the time to take note of the moment in which we exist.</span><span style="color: #073763;"> </span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-33414567470625706072011-04-17T10:10:00.005-04:002011-04-19T03:58:10.597-04:00The first line of the first journal.....<div style="color: #0c343d;"><b><br />
<span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The first line of the first journal in my journey of journals.</span></span></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><i><br />
“That uneasiness that accompanied my 32nd birthday, that sadness, has not lifted. Like some intruder that follows me, keeping its distance, but yet never completely leaving. It has now been fifteen months, and it is still here.”</i> </span></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBMZYHvj7WK5bo1zqlrtc5pu7WGRxlWY-g-bEc0TwyKsfABvS2U64sHuU9tDWeJAmq-9mOGk7kTr7Pigo_nosaZ6wA2tZsB-8jaxdykZGhSogo_HEVcg1btwSHibwPrJmqQLB6893w1WQ/s1600/First+Journal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBMZYHvj7WK5bo1zqlrtc5pu7WGRxlWY-g-bEc0TwyKsfABvS2U64sHuU9tDWeJAmq-9mOGk7kTr7Pigo_nosaZ6wA2tZsB-8jaxdykZGhSogo_HEVcg1btwSHibwPrJmqQLB6893w1WQ/s320/First+Journal.jpg" width="180" /></a><b><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
This opening line appears in a beige 5 by 7 journal written by P205 Pentel mechanical pencil in faint cursive, so faint one cannot easily decipher all the words in the sentence, in pencil, assuring the writer it could easily be erased. </span></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"> <br />
My father’s death one year before my son’s birth had given me a death and a birth to ponder on the same calendar day. My annoyance at my father’s failure to share in my son’s arrival had complicated my grieving process. The journal became my private avenue for metabolizing the disquieting dialogues between my head and my heart. </span></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
For two years, this obscure journal lived hidden in my locked briefcase, brought into the open only for weekly penciled entries. In these two years, I managed to write my way through this grieving process, but began to adopt a more realistic approach to my life , marriage, career, and relationships. </span></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
One of the last entries begins….. <i>“ I no longer criticize my friends for making unwise choices for their lives – at least they act on some options. I do not always do as much.”</i></span></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
We cease blaming others and shift our focus on our own reactions to the world. We shift our focus to our internal world no longer the external world. Then, we begin to understand that it's not what happens to us but how we respond and how we think about what happens to us that determines the quality of our life. Journaling has helped me sort this out over the past few decades.</span></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
So, where does this all lead? Is it not all just some self-absorbed whining about one's life? Yes, perhaps, but that is where we all begin. It's where we start our journals. </span></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
In writing what is most impactful and important in our lives, we give a voice to feelings and perceptions, to the demons that torment us, and to the hopes, wishes and dreams that daily manifest before us. That is where it starts. It can start with timid sentences scrawled onto scraps of paper; sentences that can become blogs, or books, or bestsellers, not by design, but by evolution.</span></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
Next – using different journals and journal formats…</span></b></div>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-57877990879704805602011-04-10T17:24:00.002-04:002011-04-14T09:30:50.525-04:00The End of A Love Affair<div style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>From my morning journal, April 1, 2011, 6:55 am. Friday</b></div><div style="color: #0c343d;"><b><i style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> </i></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUmZyYPUlOpuB9CZ2zxNUdk48eehZNGQ-916jgVqHkyNfNjakFSxqDBZG0MTdoYC1sqY3ViRhN-yVI2m46job86nxmfGZTZYzxhEIWBCP9yEMhdsy3jmfQ-XsATnRxFrgFKLFIsGrSvYA/s1600/small+journal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUmZyYPUlOpuB9CZ2zxNUdk48eehZNGQ-916jgVqHkyNfNjakFSxqDBZG0MTdoYC1sqY3ViRhN-yVI2m46job86nxmfGZTZYzxhEIWBCP9yEMhdsy3jmfQ-XsATnRxFrgFKLFIsGrSvYA/s320/small+journal.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><b><i style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">"<span style="color: #20124d;">My love affair with my new technology, like most love affairs, has taken me on a fascinating detour from my life. Reading of other’s lives has replaced my journal writing which has been my morning meditative practice for over 3 decades. The new technology has taken me away from my focus within; from the guidance of my inner being, from my Soul Center. </span></i></b></div><div style="color: #20124d;"><b><i style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
Technology makes it all too easy for me to live on the sidelines of life, watching others live out their dreams. While I may envy them, or even judge them, yet I sit and watch them whether it be spectator sports, news, or facebook. </i></b></div><div style="color: #0c343d;"><b><i style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br style="color: #20124d;" /><span style="color: #20124d;"> My affair with this new technology is now over; the crush I had on my new Android has now subsided to a place of maturity. I have learned that technology needs to serve us as a great resource and not be seen as an American Idol to be dutifully worshiped. Technology allows the drama of other people's lives to unthinkingly intrude into my thought life, hijacking my own creativity and energy."</span></i></b></div><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Beginning each day by coming to the page and placing pen to paper has been my morning meditative moment. Thirty minutes of meditative writing shifts the focus from how others live their lives to what I want in my life.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> If we are to live the life we are meant to live, then we must live it fully, We begin by asking ourselves, “What do I want?,” “What do I desire?” and “What would bring joy into my life?” </span></b><br />
<b><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Now, the return to the blank page asks me to go inside, find some inner experience, question, thought or insight to place on the page. (just like artists, poets, painters, and writers) </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Writing from the inner world is a process that allows my inner guidance to be heard. Returning to the journal each morning is simply a way of calling to the inner guides,(my software wrote ‘guys) , "I am here. I am ready to hear.”</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My morning journal pages reconnect me to the well of spirituality that can flow into my thought life, permeating and coloring the perceptions of my ordinary life which no longer appears so ordinary. Most importantly, writing helps me keep the drama of my life on the page rather than in my relationships.</span></b><br />
<b><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">In the weeks ahead, I'm writing a series of posts describing my experiences of journaling in various places, purposes, and formats over the past three and half decades.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Often, I can tell my clients, “In the long run, journaling can be your best therapist, years after you stop coming to see me.” Just as it takes many years to "grow good tai chi, or have yoga be our meditative practice, so it takes years to develop this same relationship with the journal process.</span></b><br />
<b><br style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Next week, the first line of my first journal…</span></b>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-55681132061812061312011-03-20T11:56:00.003-04:002011-04-11T11:52:47.015-04:00Falling in Love With my Technology.<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">In the last two months, I have entered into two new relationships; one being with an Android smartphone, the other being with a dual core, dual monitor computer system. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I have had a mobile phone for my business since Sprint introduced the bag phones that plugged into the car lighter socket allowing me to talk while on in the vehicle. That was before cell phones, the size of a small brick, were considered portable. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Six weeks ago, I divorced my Blackberry Storm after a 20 month relationship that can be truly characterized as “stormy”. Imagine, a relationship with someone named ‘Storm”! What was I thinking? We never got along. I never learned to work with her. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Then, in February, a Droid X came into my life. My hands were all over her for this first month, exploring all the quirks, nuances and capabilities she had. Although it has taken a month to understand her ways, we are now partners. Not since Seven of Nine of Star Trek fame have I been taken by such a piece technology. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Int5XzCo_1v-s4H9T19IAxf3a1PQS-vleqWt0xZ7e7Y7PxBSIL1F0wEXjS_WqsS27pPxGrAmHhV24uEddK14GgSXqS9IUmdakQQphg5OsMSFzEZaauUS7G_1hnwM7o8iaP3T2LuAGNA/s1600/2011-04-11_11-18-08_577.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Int5XzCo_1v-s4H9T19IAxf3a1PQS-vleqWt0xZ7e7Y7PxBSIL1F0wEXjS_WqsS27pPxGrAmHhV24uEddK14GgSXqS9IUmdakQQphg5OsMSFzEZaauUS7G_1hnwM7o8iaP3T2LuAGNA/s320/2011-04-11_11-18-08_577.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Yesterday, Mike installed a new ‘dual core’ processor computer into the network system at the office, setting it up with two monitors. Wow!. I love this! Just like in NCIS LA, I can drag an item from one screen to the other, and back again. Dual monitors, or dueling monitors, whatever I want. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Being such a visual person, needing more visual reminders as I have gotten older, the new system lets me take down all the taped lists and sticky notes from the edges of my monitor place them <i><u>in</u></i> the monitor. That gives me greater privacy, and the sticky notes won’t fall off. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">What is it with us men that allows us to so easily fall in love with something that serves us so well, unquestioningly, and asks so little of us in return? Is that is our relationship style? No wonder men are upset that Verizon is dropping the “new every two” provision in its contracts. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">It is difficult at times to remember the objective of all this technology is to make my life or work more efficient and creative. But, like other men, I can find myself falling in love with the hardware rather than its primary function. </span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Hmm……Falling in love with an object. I guess all our egos can do that, no matter what gender. Maybe, we just seem to choose different objects. </span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-37926426970886862042011-03-06T13:55:00.001-05:002011-03-06T14:00:43.992-05:00Bridging the Religious Chasm in Your Relationship.<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How is it that one approaches issues of spirituality in marriage counseling sessions? Are these questions not best handled by a minister, priest, or religious elder? Perhaps. Perhaps, when the topic is a theological or doctrinal question. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But my focus develops a communication process for a couple that not only brings clarity, but also a communication style that reflects their stated religious or spiritual beliefs. This is only a first step in a process that the couple will return to periodically during their partnership. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First, I want each individual to share what he/she remembers about their spiritual training as a youngster. What do you remember about what your church, your parents, or your grandparents taught you about religion, or spirituality in your growing up.? What was it that you were taught as a child?</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What was your church or synagogue, or temple experience?</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How have you modified some of those original beliefs as you have grown and have had new experiences? What part of your original teachings do you still carry or that bring you comfort in difficult times? What experiences and relationships have helped you rethink and reshape your own beliefs? Are there events, specific events that have had a major impact upon shifting your notions of spirituality?</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do you currently have any spiritual or religious practices, either weekly, or daily? How much are your religious or spiritual teachings of part of your daily thought life, or a part of your daily decision-making.?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How easy is it for you to express to your partner what your spiritual or religious views are? What is most central and most important to you?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How well do you believe that you understand your partner views and what is most central to them? What is your understanding as to the differences and the areas of agreement the two of you have on your views of religion or spirituality? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At this early point in the process, I am not stressing agreement or compromises; just a clarity of understanding. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Secondly, I want to know how much the couple’s views overlap, and how much is separate. How much emotion is attached to these differences? How much does each of them desire to find that common ground? Can the each focus on what is the common ground? Or are they fixated on the differences? </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Does their approach to this discussion, how each of them conducts themselves, reflect their stated spiritual beliefs? How compassionate can they each be when it comes to tolerating differences? </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And, most importantly, how much is the quality of compassion a part of their daily thought life? </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Developing this dialogue process, helping each of the partners to describe the nature of their internal beliefs gives the couple a way of connecting during critical crisis moments in the years to come as they face unexpected events or experiences. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That is what makes this issue important part of marriage counseling sessions. </span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-50642659229160662012011-03-02T11:18:00.006-05:002011-03-03T10:09:35.098-05:00Spirituality Unites, Religion Divides<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Increasingly, couples, not only young couples, but also couples who are facing a second or third marriage, ask for counseling with issues of differing religious beliefs as one of the primary places of disagreement. Here are some brief thoughts on this matter. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Couples who grew up in differing faiths or even different Christian denominations cannot long ignore the issues that will inevitably arise when the subject of children comes along.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For those who have never thought through the differences between religion and spirituality, these dialogues evoke feelings of frustration, misunderstanding or tension. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As ‘religion and politics’ are those two topics we have been told to avoid for social gatherings lest conflicts arise, in relationships, religion is the one of these two that needs clarity and understanding if the couple is to proceed. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The quote from the New Testament, John 14:6 and “I am the way...” is often interpreted by church denominations as ‘our way is the true way.” (See Jesus-is-Lord.com “Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to God”) </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dictionary.com gives the following definition:</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Religion as “a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects” i.e., the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion."</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Spiritual as “standing in a relationship based on communication between the souls or minds of the persons involved: i.e. a spiritual father." (Emphasis added) </span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hmm. Rules or Relationship? Differing approaches entirely, involving different parts of the brain. A “masculine” and a “feminine” perspective. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How do I incorporate discussions of religious beliefs and spirituality into my psychotherapy practice? In my next post, I will review some of the more common issues and my approaches to them. </span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"></span></span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-61894704939353981332011-02-24T10:29:00.001-05:002011-02-27T09:40:35.009-05:00Making the Best Use of Your Therapy Session.<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How to make the best use of your therapy sessions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">For those of you who want to make the most effective use of your therapy sesssions, here are a few suggestions that have been helpful for some clients. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">1. Arrive early to settle into a calm, thoughtful mood.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">2. Consider using a small spiral bound notebook to:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> - write an aganda for your session.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> - record some thoughts, feelings, or questions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> - track events of the week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> - record the suggestions made in sessions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">3. Consider writing your thoughts to the following questions:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> "What do I want to have happen as a result of therapy?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"> "How might my life be different after therapy?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">4. Ask questions of your therapist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">5. Between sessions, review what was discussed and recommended in your last meeting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">6. Try out some of the suggestions made by your therapst. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">By taking a more active approach, and viewing it as a joint venture, your therapy can become not only a problem solving session, but a transformative experience leading you to a better quality of life. </span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-91660606875115534152011-01-16T17:49:00.008-05:002011-02-16T17:41:11.527-05:00Solitude and Creativity<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>A recent period of enforced solitude brought me back to thoughts of centering, introspection, sleep, dreams and the link to creativity.</strong></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Completing numerous year-end business tasks, and developing plans for the new year, left little time for quiet, introspective solitude during the past six weeks. My writing and Zentangle practice had been ignored. Finally, the universe forced solitude upon me in the form of flu symptoms that require horizontal quietness, sleep and dreams. During lucid moments, reading was an option.</strong></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>In some of those half-asleep/half awake lucid dream moments, my mind pondered the connection between solitude and creativity.</strong></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>During these moments, I often return to books I've already read, finding previously underlined passages in familiar chapters my favorite authors. </strong></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><u>SOLITUDE, A Return to the Self</u>, by Anthony Storr gives memorable quotes which I'd underlined during a previous episode of enforced solitude. I would like to share some of them.</strong></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>"The capacity to be alone thus becomes linked with self-discovery and self realization; with becoming aware of one's deepest needs feelings and impulses.</strong></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>"</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>"No man ever will unfold the capacities of his own intellect who does not at least checker his life with solitude."--De Quincey</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>"The act of drawing sharpens the perceptions of the Draughtsman; an idea passionately advanced by Ruskin If naming things is the first creative act, as Bazin alleges, perhaps drawing is the second." </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>"This is not healing through insight, nor through making a new and better relationship with another person, nor even to solving particular problems, but healing by means of an interchange of attitudes."</strong></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>"… Maslow realizes that the creative attitude and the ability to have peak experiences depends upon being free of other people; free, especially, from the neurotic involvements, from historical hangovers from childhood, but also free of obligations, duties, fears and hopes."</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
<strong></strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wordsworth. "The Prelude"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>“When from our better selves we have too long</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Been parted by the hurrying world, and droop,</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Sick of its business, of its pleasures tired,</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>How gracious, how benign, is solitude."</strong></span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-16035518538926157282011-01-09T17:16:00.015-05:002011-02-24T10:31:26.789-05:00Friday at 4:00 pm is one year to late!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Friday at 4 PM is one year too late!</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Do you do marriage counseling?" a male voice asks; the desperation and fear evident in his delivery.</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Yes, I do." I respond.</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“My wife just told me she wants a divorce. I think we need some marriage counseling right away. Can you see us this weekend?”</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Perhaps once a month I get such a telephone call on a Friday afternoon between 3 and 6 PM. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I want to say is the following: “Sir, you may be a year or two too late in making this telephone call. She has been thinking of this for at least a year. It’s that she is just now telling you. “</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“No, she started having an affair a month ago. That is why she is leaving me.” The husband continues. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span">What I want him to know is what I have learned over the years: </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span">Wives do not get up some morning and say to themselves, “Today, I think I will have sex with someone new and different.”</span></i></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Instead, I say to them, “ If you did no maintenance on your vehicle, but ran it as long an no red lights come on the dash, what do you suppose it would mean for your vehicle when the red lights finally all come on at the same time?”</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a pregnant pause, the caller responds, “I guess it means I have let it go too long and now something really bad has gone wrong.” </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“ Yes,” I reply, “ it may have been more than a year or more since that this has relationship has been drifting. “</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“But she has not been complaining. We have not been fighting this past year. “</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“That tells me when it was a year ago when she gave up on the relationship.”</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Should I make an appointment, even if she does not want to come?”</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Yes,” I suggest, “It is important that you learn some things in the process of this divorce. Otherwise, you will need to learn them in your next divorce.”</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Men confuse a lack of conflict with having a peaceful relationship. Teaching men the process of doing maintenance on their relationships, just as they do on their vehicles or with their weekly business meetings is part of the divorce counseling process.</span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-19167621629756076722010-12-18T11:46:00.011-05:002010-12-18T11:59:04.213-05:00Five Weeks of Yoga Classes<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why yoga classes? If I recommend some activity for my clients, I want to have had some direct experience of that activity. Otherwise, it seems phony to not have “walked my talk.” Having heard many clients complain about their yoga instructors, I wanted to see how class with this instructor would feel to one of my clients. </span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Julie is a yoga instructor I met at a psychiatrist’s open house held to market the practice as an ‘integrative approach’ to the whole person. As I unrolled my yoga mat at the first class, I noted that I was the oldest, and the only male in the class.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Julie greeted us, dressed in a yoga ‘uniform’, conservative, all black, form fitting attire worn by instructors in the yoga videos I had already watched and tried to imitate in the privacy of my TV room. Unlike the DVD presentations, her background music from an iPod docking station, created a soft, gentle atmosphere.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sitting on a mat, on a hardwood floor, with bare feet, felt harder than the soft carpeting of the TV room, but afforded a secure footing for standing poses. The stretching was tedious at times, trying to pretzel my body into a pose that began to resemble what the instructor was showing and describing in her soft voice.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Near the end of the first class, I felt myself drifting off to lucid dream sleep; my mind wanting to go to dreamland, not the reality of the world around me.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Each succeeding class went better, as I learned from Julie to only take the stretches as far as my body would comfortably move. That was helpful. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Each succeeding class left me with a better frame of mind, more relaxed and feeling refreshed, but gave me a difficulty in making the mental shift to task orientation as I returned to my office for the remaining two hours left in the workday. </span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By the fourth class, I found myself in such an altered state upon leaving the class. Seeing the world with visual clarity, heightened sensory awareness, and feeling like walking was a gliding process….a ‘high’ of sorts.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By the fifth class, which included ‘chair work’, I had become accustomed to that endpoint in the stretch that I could hold with just the right amount of tension that could be sustained for the two minutes of a pose.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The classes ended, with Julie taking a break for the holidays.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, I know the how the experience of yoga, much like meditation classes, when done on a regular basis, following an instructors lead, leads to that altered, intuitive state, one more pathway to that state in which one makes better choices with less fear and anxiety. </span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A state in which one feels more connected to others, and lives with a sense of awe, gratitude and wonder at what the universe brings to us in our ordinary daily experienced day. </span></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-88792229242289705352010-11-28T11:56:00.004-05:002010-11-28T12:01:15.144-05:00Chop Wood, Carry Water<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Each year, I go to the woods with a chainsaw to cut firewood. Later, returning with a hydraulic woodspitter, to split the pieces, stack them in the sun to dry for a year before bringing them home to restack for the winter. A seeming mundane physical task men have done since early days of caves and fires.</span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0PIT3q8OkSUkYUsYDbrja8HgE283fAv4qHAerpynRJfyxS-MGdyKTMSxeRm-jRIA-g3u6uXbsgajTNv1cJWrvsfvC7lIuq6nsocjBvjP36bgwxO0-oy9QKWgjNx5vyqMBdxaNCBVqtg4/s1600/IMG00164-20101112-1138.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="150" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0PIT3q8OkSUkYUsYDbrja8HgE283fAv4qHAerpynRJfyxS-MGdyKTMSxeRm-jRIA-g3u6uXbsgajTNv1cJWrvsfvC7lIuq6nsocjBvjP36bgwxO0-oy9QKWgjNx5vyqMBdxaNCBVqtg4/s200/IMG00164-20101112-1138.jpg" width="200" /></span></span></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS9bt7yjYRqPJy3TLO-LzMphpYF5uXdtppkKDZ9I7LCkcn0pepDyLHxdyqR8smy_36F6d_IQJSSuCORWpCta8WCNHw9qqx_ge-jZ0pS2lpHvUj5RzlcfRF-yZXFHQYbynH4JqKzFoXBM8/s1600/IMG00173-20101113-1616.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="150" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS9bt7yjYRqPJy3TLO-LzMphpYF5uXdtppkKDZ9I7LCkcn0pepDyLHxdyqR8smy_36F6d_IQJSSuCORWpCta8WCNHw9qqx_ge-jZ0pS2lpHvUj5RzlcfRF-yZXFHQYbynH4JqKzFoXBM8/s200/IMG00173-20101113-1616.jpg" width="200" /></span></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU_lpDumTSqtkFgoyO_DwJtR5KFNdHJ9rT3Ba8gXERMuEnZ5OmXZr_USg2ijtvyQHBztvNsz6BGIWIZXjlZFayfDcbH0IyEDzUFamSEO_beXxJXf3_CuX211VmAomarlk81AQHJaBaDZw/s1600/bkyd+wood+wall-20090719-1811.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; height: 172px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; width: 201px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="150" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU_lpDumTSqtkFgoyO_DwJtR5KFNdHJ9rT3Ba8gXERMuEnZ5OmXZr_USg2ijtvyQHBztvNsz6BGIWIZXjlZFayfDcbH0IyEDzUFamSEO_beXxJXf3_CuX211VmAomarlk81AQHJaBaDZw/s200/bkyd+wood+wall-20090719-1811.jpg" width="200" /></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
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</span></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5iMkzXX0WdDHOrSZu01w5TUS2TMebbJNhpxkWw4fjhw0dHPp_-_qunubY0C_gt2hIQ2fQQAD8AUrt_fCu5lNNimztvec-qOB39wc1-FO9BzDzdE3tNukyCmzgoMLCm0R1amB3T_Se2qY/s1600/jnl+and+fire-20100722-2009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="150" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5iMkzXX0WdDHOrSZu01w5TUS2TMebbJNhpxkWw4fjhw0dHPp_-_qunubY0C_gt2hIQ2fQQAD8AUrt_fCu5lNNimztvec-qOB39wc1-FO9BzDzdE3tNukyCmzgoMLCm0R1amB3T_Se2qY/s200/jnl+and+fire-20100722-2009.jpg" width="200" /></span></span></a><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Being in an office each day, I do need outdoors and physical intensity for balance in my life. One of the ways I maintain some balance in my life is to work outside at some mundane task</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">For me, making firewood serves to balance my life, as well as provide a cozy fire in my backyard and in my home. Sitting in front of a warm fire, as I write this post, gives inspiration and a warm atmosphere to the entire room and house. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">“Why spend so much time and energy doing all that? You would be ahead working and simply buying the wood.” someone may comment. Financially, yes, I would be “ahead,” but not physically, emotionally, or spiritually. (It is so easy for some to measure the value of life in financial numbers. )</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I do it for the same reason some people run, workout, play guitars, draw, sketch, paint, make Zentangle art, play competitive sports, ride horses, do beading, quilting, and other artistic home crafts, These all have their origins in ancient civilizations.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I do it for balance and for expression of some deep internal impulse.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">While civilization has shielded men and women from much drudgery of past centuries, we can yet reconnect with our primal roots and our souls through creative/expressive forms that are symbols of our ancestors. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Rick Fields wrote his best seller, Chop Wood, Carry Water, based on a well known Buddhist quote, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” Here an ancient Buddhist saying conveys the spiritual value of seeming mundane physical tasks when done as a mindful ritual. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As much as spiritual rituals of today’s religions, these activities are in some way spiritual rituals for the doing of them reconnects us with a deeper part of us that is embedded in our very souls. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We are not just chopping wood, making art, or writing stories. We are connecting with the Source energy of our very souls that provides healing, inspiration, and compassion for ourselves and all others in our world.</span></span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248105780789474318.post-1856273314838748802010-11-06T09:34:00.005-04:002010-11-06T09:43:45.141-04:00Writing a First Novel<span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">I have begun writing my first novel. My friend Judi tells me that each November there is a national challenge of writing a novel in one month. The challenge is that of writing 50,000 words in one month; 1,667 per day toward a new novel. The goal is to complete a first draft, even a messy one; the editing and rewriting can come later.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"> </span><a href="http://www.nanowrimo.org/"><span style="color: black;">http://www.nanowrimo.org/</span></a></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Why would I do that? For the same reason I began my first Yoga class last Thursday. For the same reason I learn a new German word each day on my iGoogle home page. For the same reason I do Zentangle art. And for the same reason, that in the past, I have learned to do meditation and tai chi, to fly an airplane and a hang glider. </span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes it helps to put oneself in the place of a beginner; to do something one knows that one cannot do well at the beginning. Sometimes it helps to challenge oneself to complete a task that seems so daunting at the beginning, one questions one’s sanity. A creative challenge stretches the mind and imagination that can never go back to its original size. </span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">To start at a beginning, a place of innocence, no blame, is being a beginner traveling in a foreign land. These journeys make my life richer, giving me a sense of confidence and mastery. But, the journeys also bring me a sense of humility. For me, these are the journeys into a great sense of awe and appreciation for the abilities of others whose creative work I consume each day and often take for granted. </span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Judi is a published author who teaches creative writing classes. She is way ahead of me in this venture. I struggle to keep with the daily writing pace. Today is day 6 of the journey. I need only concern myself with today’s goal by writing one sentence at a time, just as Zentangle art is made “one stroke at a time.”</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The novel will take care of itself; it will write itself into what form it wants. My place is to stay in my beginner role each day as I sit and write each next sentence as it comes to me. </span><br />
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</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The goal of this journey is not to win, but to enjoy the experience, and to finish well. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-size: large;"></span>Verlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01349899394996733959noreply@blogger.com6