Do You Want a Guardian Angel to Go with Your ADHD?


Do you know any adults with ADHD?
Ask them this following question: “As you think back over your life, how many times could you have been dead by now? “  

If your friend is willing to play along, you may get some surprising answers.
 “You mean since I was two years old or just since I began driving?”
“Four times for sure”  
“Oh, at least a dozen times”

Or they begin to describe dramatic events.

“I fell off of our porch roof into some bushes when I was 4.”
“My brother was giving me a ride on his bike down this hill…”
“We were repelling from the top of an old church, when…”
“I was dating this guy who..…”
“On my Yamaha 750, I wiped out after getting some ‘air’ at 105.. ”
“Driving 125 on the causeway to St. Petersburg, when…”

Then I might ask, “Have you ever wondered what keeps you alive when you could have been dead by now?”
“Have you ever wondered if something watches over you and keeps you alive?

“Yes,” is the most common response. 

“Do you ever wonder if some Guardian Angel watches over you?  How else do you explain that you are still alive when others would have been dead several times by now?”

“Yes, I have thought that at times.”   
For somewhere inside, intuition provides guidance. “I  know what I should do, but I don’t always do it.” 

 When I see the survivability of ADHD clients and their ability to land on their feet, (physically and metaphorically)  coupled with their intuition, I think of them as cats – either sleeping or stalking prey.

Ultimately, the person with ADHD does learn to listen and respond to the internal guidance, that Guardian Angel, living within them. Otherwise, the stakes get higher and life becomes more inconvenient

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Focusing on 2012


The last office day in 2011 was a day for cleaning out clutter, shampooing carpets, storing closed files, and putting up a new literature rack.  It seemed so symbolic; preparing for the year ahead.   Completing, clearing, consolidating, and de-cluttering one part of my life

A New Year brings Hope for me as it does for many of us,
A time of letting go of what is in the past.
A time for reordering our priorities.
A time for shrinking and consolidating our lives.
A time of breathing a prayer of renewal for a better year, a better life and a better us.
A time to ask better questions that lead to better choices. 

As I was writing the above notes from my experiences this past week,  the following note appeared in my mailbox. 

Peter Russell, a British Author and Creative Thinker, from his website  “The Spirit of Now” lists his suggestions for the coming year.

1. Reclaiming quality time. Learning how to let the mind relax and just "be" for a while.
2. Rethinking priorities. What is it we really want? What makes our hearts sing?
3. Seeing things differently. Pause and ask yourself if there's another way of looking at the situation.
4. Don't keep anxieties bottled up. When we stop resisting uncomfortable feelings, they have a better chance of dissipating.
5. Value your friendships. Treat others as you would like to be treated.
Full article: Press Democrat.


Well said. My sentiments exactly.  I cannot express it more succinctly.  Thank you,  Peter.  

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Changes beginning in 2012


Tomorrow, a posting goes up in my office waiting room listing the revised rates and new services beginning in 2012.  Revising rates for the first time in two decades and adding new services reflect the new directions for the practice.

New Services for 2012:

Business consultations -  not infrequently, counseling sessions with individuals who own their own businesses often turn to discussions of personnel issues, business plans, or organizational structural changes. The sessions become coaching sessions for the client’s business interests as much as their personal/relationship issues. Separating the coaching service gives recognition to the unique combination of knowledge in both management and mental health is required to provide this service. 

Astrology Readings – over the past 15 years, after having read nearly 75 books on astrology, reviewed over 2500 charts of people who I know, or have known intimately, and have collected a database of over 3100 charts, I've decided it's time to set a new course for this avocation. The readings will be consultations on individual’s natal chart, reviewing the specific gifts and challenges alluded to in the chart, as well as providing some relationship advice. I do not perceive these readings as being "predictive" astrology as some popular notions would have you believe.
During the past decade and a half, astrology has provided shortcuts, resulting in more efficient use of therapy consultation time and more focused sessions.
Carl Jung, late in his career, commented that "Astrology was the first psychology," as he observed the similarities between mythology, archetypal images, and astrological energies.

Internet Skype Sessions :  I've been providing some Internet Skype sessions over the past two years whenever clients out of town during their regularly weekly sessions.   I foresee utilizing the service more often, and more regularly during the coming year. For now, I will provide the service with established clients. I do not see Skype sessions as a usual alternative format for most counseling. There is still something about personal interaction between two people sitting face-to-face in the same room that cannot be produced in video form.

These are only a few of the changes of the many changes I anticipate for 2012 for the practice. As technological advances occur, and I learn how to use them, more changes will come forth as the year progresses.

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Where have your words gone?

What have you been up to?”  ask the emails from friends and blog readers. “Where has your creativity gone?”
“My mind has been in a creative lull; at least in terms of writing,” I tell them. 


When summer arrived after the long cold wet winter, my body wanted to be outside in the elements. 


Working with wood vs writing.
Canning vs Quoting.
Planting bulbs vs posting blogs.
Crafting landscapes vs  manuscripts
Whenever weather allowed, I was outside. 


Now in the return to living inside, my mind wants to read rather than write. The rainy retreat time two months ago fueled a passion which has completed one book every two weeks.      


Today, I begin Dreams of Love and Fateful Encounters, the Power of Romantic Passion, written by Ethel Person, a Jungian analyst on the transforming and humanizing effect of love on the psyche.


It is just one of the rhythms of my life. I have been through these before. These phases take my life, my relationships, and my therapy practice to a new level.  They are an extension of a process which began at my annual retreat,   My writing and my words will return, as will my desire to reach out to people. 


“Do you still write in you journal?” one writer wants to know. 
“Yes, it's the breakfast of my life.

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"Heartbreak Warfare"


HEARTBREAK WARFARE: a client plays for me an excerpt from a John Mayer song entitled: "Heartbreak Warfare".
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Just say so...

This is from someone who often describes her conflicts - both personal and business – as a war.     Other clients have described their struggles with their teenagers as a war.

War is a concept that from my cultural and religious upbringing was seen as a shortsighted approach to dispute resolution.  Historically, the Mennonites/Amish culture has not had its young men go to war, but rather, provide some community service to the country.  Children’s Services, my alternative to the Vietnam, is where my career begins.

Psychologically war is a notion that says, "If I don't win what I want, then we will both go down - and you can't have what you want.”   Or perhaps, “It will cost you so much you can't enjoy what you have won.”

The concept of war is about winning and losing; a concept that what one gains the other loses. The notion of winning and losing in relationship precludes any true intimacy.  Peaceful coexistence, yes.  Shared ventures or projects, yes.   An closeness or camaraderie, yes.   But true intimacy?  Not so much. 

When we see our relationships as a dualistic struggle, where one of us is the good guy and the other the victim, we are relying on the other to be more trusting than we are. More vulnerable and exposed than we are.
Sports evolved as a way providing young man a safe outlet for war-games through friendly competition. While sports give us rules for the field of play, a relationship war, I'm afraid, has no rules, no defined boundaries, and no clear winners –  only “degrees of losing”.  

Next time you are caught up in a ‘relationship war’, ask yourself,  
-          Is there another way I can see this? 
-          What is my greatest fear now?
-          In a single sentence, what is it that I am wanting now. 

Then, communicate that to your partner.   Just say so.

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Rainy Day Retreat

 On some gray, misty, rainy morning, have you ever said to yourself,  “ I would so love to stay home, hibernate, read a good book and sleep all day.”  
 Suppose you did stay home on a rainy day, what would you do?  How would you spend your time?  


Now, imagine having six consecutive rainy days in which you stayed home?  
Misty fog hangs in the valley.




My annual retreat in an empty campground with six days in which it rained parts of each day gave me time to answer that question.    

Solitary retreats serve as a renewal time for the body, mind and soul;  for long walks  for dialogue with the Self, renew spiritual practices, and read a book or two, a time of being present oriented, grounded in nature and body.


 This year’s rains limited the hiking, eliminated the biking, confined the activities to mainly reading and writing;  a misty fog forcing me inside the camper and forcing my focus “inside.”  Listening to rain on the camper roof keeps one grounded in the physical realities of the present moment. 


Daily routines of writing journal pages, trying new meditation practices, hiking, reading, and sitting around campfires in the evening, all served to keep my mind focused on the self in present time   


Reading, or rather re-reading,  extensively highlighted books provided some touchstone experiences; reorienting myself to previous experiences of spiritual renewal. This year’s selections were Baldwin’s Life’s Companion, Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest, and Eckart Tolle’s The Power of Now; two books pulled from my shelves at the office based on some intuitive impulse.


When it was raining,  extensive journal writing, hours of filling half of the new journal,  was the predominate activity.  A gratitude section.  A review of this year in a life.  An assessment  some things I have learned in this lifetime.  What to let go of and what to hold more dear.  And, some commitments toward a year ahead. 


Somewhere along the line, answers do arrive. Either in the question and answer form of journaling dialogue, a sudden inspiration in a highlighted line or two from a book, or from my own free form journaling in which I end up writing some thoughts I had no idea were in my mind. After 70 pages of writing, one finds perhaps seven lines that give inspiration, insight or enlightenment. But these are lines that come from inside, not from one of the books brought along. 


 Always a transcendent moment or two comes to me in this retreat week; a moment when the world looks surreal.  

Sunshine warms the river and the valley.
-        -  On the river bank, in my chair, writing, practicing meditation exercises, quietly , silently for half an hour when a large black heron with white tail cruises by at an altitude of 6 feet overhead on his way to run off a younger heron from his favorite fallen tree branch.   

-        -  A cloudless afternoon allowed the sun to shine onto the river valley bottom for a few hours, lifting of spirits and an animating all forms of wildlife out of their hibernation.

-        -  The full moon over head appearing brightly, fully on one special evening.


When on some future rainy day, you are tempted to stay home with yourself, please do so. Make it a day without electronic stimulation,-- no music, no internet, no television, no ‘news’.   Make it a day of reading inspiring books, writing notes to yourself, or to friends, and simply listening to the rain and the silence. 


Rain refreshes all of nature.  Listening to rain may refresh your soul.  


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