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“Without the verbal ballast of hearing a hundred words each weekend,
Words of assumptions, opinions, criticisms and judgements,
My self esteem grew to new heights,
My self confidence developed in new directions,
My desires re-emerged from the aridity of this relationship,
And my creativity blossomed like roses,
from a bare, pruned bush,
unfold with greater vibrancy, color, and fragrance.” -- name withheld.
How is it that women, more than men, make this adjustment to separations with such grace? When I listen to them, I hear……
“Each week, I take a walk with my best friend.”
“ Once a month, I get together with a few of my closest friends, we go out to dinner, we have a glass of wine, we talk, we laugh, sometimes we cry, we rag on our men,… but mostly, we laugh a lot. That is what helps me the most. And that is my attitude readjustment for the month.”
“Each year, the four of us take a long weekend together – a kind of vacation from our lives, our men and our kids. That I can still look forward to that time together helps me the most.”
Women’s acceptance, understanding, and compassion toward each other during these transitions provides a healing component that men, money, and therapy cannot. Grieving this loss fully, and not merely replacing, ( as men have historically been prone to do) allows for the new life to “blossom” in ways not previously possible.
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