Even though she is quite young, it is already to late.  Her mother's disapproval of her choices was now in the forefront of this child's decision making.


As the four of us wind in and out among the vans, cars, and SUV's from which families were exiting on their to the minor league game in Prince George Stadium, we overhear the statement from a small girl, not more than a second or third grader. "Mommy, I know you are going to be disapointed in me, but....." 


Our small group literally stopped, and stared at each other, as if to say, "Did you hear that!"


The girl had made a choice to wear something that she knew was not what her mother world have chosen for her to wear. Obviously having experienced her mother's reaction such choices, she went on the offensive, declaring that she had taken her mother's wishes into consideration.


"It's just a baseball game." we all muttered to each other the statement we were wanting to say to the child and her mother. 


Hearing this 8 year old articulate such a central issue of the mother - daughter relationship, seemed overly wise, or just sad.  The notion of "what will my mother think?" had begun to factor in her daily decisions and choices  No longer clear as to "What is it that I want?", her choices were already tempered by her mother's potential disapproval.  This small child was aware of the issue that is central to a lifelong struggle of self esteem for many women..


We could have turned back to tell her, "It's just a baseball game. Wear what you feel like wearing."


But, then, if she is wise enough to go on the offensive by declaring to her mother, " I know what you want, but I chose to wear what I wanted to wear."  she will avoid the pitfalls of those girls who had not such courage at this young age.    

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