“Without the verbal  ballast of hearing a hundred words each weekend,
Words of assumptions, opinions, criticisms and judgements,
My self esteem grew to new heights,
My self confidence developed in new directions,
My desires re-emerged from the aridity of this relationship,
And my creativity blossomed like roses, 
from a bare, pruned bush,
unfold with greater vibrancy, color, and fragrance.”      -- name withheld.

How is it that women, more than men, make this adjustment to separations with such grace?   When I listen to them, I hear……

“Each week, I take a walk with my best friend.”

“ Once a month, I get together with a few of my closest friends,  we go out to dinner, we have a glass of wine, we talk, we laugh, sometimes we cry, we rag on our men,… but mostly, we laugh  a lot. That is what helps me the most.  And that is my attitude readjustment for the month.”

“Each year, the four of us take a long weekend together – a kind of vacation from our lives, our men and our kids.  That I can still look forward to that time together helps me the most.” 

Women’s acceptance, understanding, and compassion toward each other during these transitions provides a healing component that men, money, and therapy cannot.  Grieving this loss fully, and not merely replacing, ( as men have historically been prone to do)  allows for the new life to  “blossom” in ways not previously possible.

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